dilemma

so my lab prof told me i can write my thesis in japanese or english, any way i prefer, and comfortable with - oh so sweet of you osawa sensei -

and obviously the heart is attached to english, but in the end, what is the use of studying in japanese all these years? 5 years of them you see, so the love somehow has made its way for the language of this country where these two feet stand right now. 

usually ill write down the pros and cons and so i did, and its led to english as the better choice. points were comfortable, more familiar, senang nak goreng-goreng, grammar mistakes are easily trackable, and it can be useful if i were to transfer to english-speaking country for my master's degree. 

didnt say that i wanted to, but as a back up plan if i cant make it for the scholarship since all the chances are fading due to the unfortunate tsunami/earthquake mishap a few months ago, i believe.

adding to it is also the fact that japan's city is quoted the most expensive city in the whole world. PAMA's scholarship as it seems, cant afford, and i dont want to take some loan. i dont want to be in debt.

chances are as thin, and giving up isnt always a bad choice, but there is still hope. so im holding to it, as it is for now.

so back to my dilemma, hurm. let me see. why the hassle? let the future balqis make the decision :P