dilemma

so my lab prof told me i can write my thesis in japanese or english, any way i prefer, and comfortable with - oh so sweet of you osawa sensei -

and obviously the heart is attached to english, but in the end, what is the use of studying in japanese all these years? 5 years of them you see, so the love somehow has made its way for the language of this country where these two feet stand right now. 

usually ill write down the pros and cons and so i did, and its led to english as the better choice. points were comfortable, more familiar, senang nak goreng-goreng, grammar mistakes are easily trackable, and it can be useful if i were to transfer to english-speaking country for my master's degree. 

didnt say that i wanted to, but as a back up plan if i cant make it for the scholarship since all the chances are fading due to the unfortunate tsunami/earthquake mishap a few months ago, i believe.

adding to it is also the fact that japan's city is quoted the most expensive city in the whole world. PAMA's scholarship as it seems, cant afford, and i dont want to take some loan. i dont want to be in debt.

chances are as thin, and giving up isnt always a bad choice, but there is still hope. so im holding to it, as it is for now.

so back to my dilemma, hurm. let me see. why the hassle? let the future balqis make the decision :P 

my new baby

i thought it would be on july. right after 3 months savings, supposedly according to my plan. but got help from baba n mak, and alhamdulillah yester-yesterday i purchased my new baby (:

yeah after 2 months eye-ing and stalking and touching and test-running everytime i walk passed AppleStore Shinsaibashi, Osaka for my part time job like 2-3 times a week.

i wanted to purchase it on my own, actually. but my former laptop isnt fitted enough to work with me for the past few days. so i was desperately in need of notebook/laptop right about these days for some work i have so i went to bic-camera and got a 10% points enough for me to buy some omiyage for my loved ones back home.

cant wait to get to them (:

my 22nd year of life.

its my 22nd year of life and i still hasnt anything to be proud of, or work of life that can be considered as a work of life =.=''

ive seen many of my mates during school time, and childhood friends or whom i have stalked through the famous social network called facebook, they, during my age, have accomplished so many things i envy.

many of my days i spent studying (for the past 16 years of course), but not with all my heart in it you see, so that may result to the results i have been getting.

but alhamdulillah for the final final final exam i had last february, it was not so bad. and now im in my 4th year in school which is my final year, which means i need a thesis to graduate.

so i dont have any classes taken this year, this WHOLE year. i just have to come to lab, work something out, and come up with a thesis, and there you go. a scroll of degree as an engineering student.

this event will take place on next year's march, in case anyone wants to come with a bouquet :P JK JK JK.

back to the point, since this is my last year of being a student, i just want to dedicate the remaining moment to make something out of it...but what will it be, i cant figure out that part yet.

loves,

thoughts i'll never say out loud.