Making this year the best year yet!

I'm not kidding!

I have last year to take a long break and create a full-completed (for now) family, and I am now vowing to gear up a notch so our family would have a better future. By future I mean in the near future and in the long run, separately.

For this I am going to categorize each sections that I would like to improve.

1)Me & S

First, our sleep. Since getting the twins we did not have a long straight night to ourselves for a few consecutive nights, and we are not planning to. We expect ourselves to wake up a few times every night to cater to the girls' needs and to care for them for whatever they need. But, that does not mean that we don't need to have a schedule of our own. Here I am imploring that S and I should be asleep before midnight everyday, so our anatomy would know that when the clock strikes 12, we are already resting and gearing up for the next day.

Second, our wars. Even though most wars are initiated by me, but I found solace in not having to keep everything inside me all the time. I feel more free to say anything I don't feel right or annoyed to S. The turnover was, when I do, sometimes I always took it up a notch and raise my voice. Being the most loving husband, S would try his best to understand how my anger management didn't work, but I seek to improve this as S did not deserve this type of personality as his wife. Now here I implore to have better control and better manage my anger towards the person I see everyday and every night, my caring husband. As to others, please wait till next year as I can only focus on one person at a time!


2) The girls

Here I vow to spend more times with the girls outdoor. We spent the whole 2018 indoor and now I think I can brave myself enough to take the girls out for a good hour under sunshine everyday. Well, I'll start once a week after they reach their first year of life. (about 2 weeks to go!) And as soon as they are able to walk & run by themselves, I am to enrol them to the nearest gym for them to let of some steam! (Well, this year might be too early)

Additionally, I would spend more time for them to enhance their cognitive abilities (that is the ability to understand) through their senses. I'll use daytime and noon for their schooling and abide to a curriculum for their age. This need extra work everyday, but I. am. doing. it!


3) As a family.

We already decided last year to maximize our home-cooked meals and not introduce sugar and salt to the girls before they reach their 1000th days of life ( from the day they were conceived) so by the time they reach 2 years old, I'll let loose a bit. But for now, no eating after 9 and big breakfast to get us going everyday, yeay! Minimize junk food, eating out, fast-food, and sugar and salt.

Exercise! I am to make sure S exercise 5 times every week, if not EVERYDAY. While me, I am going to attach myself to the gym for a few months. I need to re-create my stamina, I have a twin to care for! I also need me some muscle here and there, too bubbly for a healthy mother figure I aim for the twins. They deserve more than this shabby potato.

To happily reach the end of this year, I urge S to do a resolution map together, and perform GRIT for our future in an attempt to avoid wasting time (years, probably!) towards our common goals.

Practice gratitude! To say thanks to our family supporters in the form of heaven-sent friends and families, by always make time for them, in the means of technology like the internet! (Facetime/Line/iMessage/Zalora/Lazada/Amazon?) Thank you www!


......even though above are not figuratively accountable, I should state here that it's our newly developed principal of the year, which will indefinitely support our goals, directly or indirectly. It should help up get back on track if (when) we lose track possibly in the middle of the year, or as early as the 3rd week of January......


Pray for us!

Me 2.0, Platinum Package

Hoorah hoorah it's that time of the year again! It's the new year.

Revising channels of what got me going last year isn't that hard. My twins. My husband. My family. Easy! But to strengthen those channels and to gear up a notch to bring those up together needs more than just a little push. I have made a few decisions last year that will pivot this years' overall plans. It is not going to be easier, to sum it up.

We decided that we are going to be unstoppable. We will do what we think are best for the twins, and our little family. We might consider some advices from the people that brought us up but on the whole, we would never let anyone else decide what should we, as a family go through.

I, on my part, decide that I am going to strengthen the 4 pillars of health so I can be a better mother who are able to fully nurture my girls. My exercise, my sleep, my stress level, and of course, my nutrition intake. I'm paying a few people to help me take care of this and let's see where this will get me.

Personally, the most important feature that I will make sure to upgrade this year is my mind. My brain. I am throwing a few hours of study every day so I can get the rusty brain start moving again. Due to maternity leave I have not been using it for more than a year now, so I'm sure the thickness of the rust will scare the hell out of me but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Am I right or am I right?

Without financial income I would not be able to straight it all up so I am gonna spend more strategically than yester-year because let's get real, I was spending like a freaking Kardashian while my bank account looks like I'm homeless. Of course, my net worth in Japan is already minus in the banking world.

The good part was, I was able to set aside a huge amount for the girls' future and put a safe to guard it over. I am so so proud of myself and hope the girls will too, in the future. InsyaAllah.

Well, I found out last year that selling old stuff was a bit healthier than just throwing it away or stock it in the closet for cockroaches to live rent-free, and recycling textiles at H&M will give a handsome return, I am going to do just that to top-up the emptiness in my accounts, aside from S's monthly contribution to the family.

Oh I'm hearing one of the girls. They're up early! Gotta go, toodles!

I have always had someone to be a role model for me, albeit their acknowledgement of it. Back in school, my peers and some seniors were those who I looked upon whenever I made my decisions.

Later in life, I embarrassingly refer to my social medias to see what kind of lifestyle/principles do I prefer whenever I see something I want to achieve or how I illustrate my future. I look up to certain moguls and let them rage my enviousness with their perfect lives.

I get too emotional sometimes but I see less harm in it because wanting to be like them make want to work harder. They make me get up in the morning when all I wanted to do was to be a permanent potato couch. (Sadly, I still do.)

But today I realized something absurd, or impossible even. I found nothing/nobody I can seek from to what I really want in life (for now). In 10 years from now, I seek of a pre-financial freedom lifestyle. A full freedom would be on its way 15-20 years from now but I have to make do with what I have in the present.

This pre-financial goal that I have, needs some amendment of the current lifestyle that I am adopting now. This goal that I have structured, shall make us abide to all decisions that would neither burden our kids nor our extended family members in under any circumstances. Simultaneously, I seek a life that would not create enemy, not making public of our private lives (so socials media platform is a no-no), and definitely not having our kids deprived of our love and attention throughout their childhood.

In fact, I seek of a lifestyle that also can contribute to them in any way possible. This goal should also have positive impacts to not only its members but also to its communities, directly and indirectly.

Along with it, in the mean time, I seek to do this by only my husband and myself without having a full-time nanny/maid while also developing my career.

Well, this is where I stumble. I could not find any friend or even a mogul that did all by themselves while wanting to achieve what I want to achieve. All of them have their own helpers, while those who don't have; have dreams of nothing like mine.

I guess I have to be my own role model now...

Dear Arisa

Dear Arisa,

Today as you looked at me, mouth wide open, smiling with those pair of big beautiful dark brown eyes, amused by the smooch sound I made while kissing your tiny hand, I felt a sting of sadness in my heart because I know one day you might not look at me the same again.

One day you will find out about my flaws and my shortcomings and one day you might decide that I was not the best mother to you. One day you might have grudge against me, or against my decisions affecting you, or not, that might draw you away from me. One day you might feel that I don't love you with all that I have, that I should do better to show it to you.

On those fateful day, I hope you would forgive me for my weaknesses and never cease to believe my whole heart have always been made for both of you and your sister. My only reason for existing is for you two, and your dad alone. I pray that those day will never come but who knows what Allah has prepared for us in the future.

Then again, all those feelings faded away as I noticed you showed me your hands near to my mouth, perhaps wanting me to make that sound again. As I love being your greatest (for now) muse, as long as God would allow me, I would never mind kissing your hand and make that smooch sound over and over again until you decide to scratch my face...and farted. Nice Arisa, nice. Way to tell me you love me too...